I read ‘Fertile in my Ex-Boyfriend’s Dungeon’ so you don’t have to

The next instalment of this series sees me taking on a book called ‘Fertile in my Ex-Boyfriend’s Dungeon’ by Amanda Clover. And yes, that really is the title.

Firstly, I really dig the cover of this book. So much fun, and it gave me some confidence that the content might be at least half-way decent (spoiler alert: it wasn’t), plus this has the added bonus of being a ‘Pick You Own Adventure’ story.

I’ve also already read:

‘Ice Planet Barbarians’ - see my thoughts on this hyped book here

‘Dick Fight Island’ - An obscure yaoi manga (exactly what it says it is)

And Sophie has taken on ‘Desperate Measures’ by Katee Robert

If you have any suggestions for me to read next then leave the title in the comments below!

What is ‘Fertile in my Ex-Boyfriend’s Dungeon’?

A travesty. But here’s the summary:

Beatrix Ardora is trapped by her ex-boyfriend in a dungeon full of horny monsters and cursed with magical fertility! Any of the monsters can knock Beatrix up if she isn't careful and she has 13 levels to go before she can escape! Can YOU help her reach freedom?

In this humorous and steamy interactive erotic adventure, you guide Beatrix on her journey through the dungeon created by her wizard ex-boyfriend. She is young, beautiful, sassy, and she knows how to use a sword, but she's stuck on the first level of a dungeon and facing goblins, orcs, and talking beetles. The monsters are stuck in the dungeon too and they all know the only way out is to find one of Zimon's ex-girlfriends and knock her up.

Can Beatrix escape this fate? Can she take revenge on her creepy ex-boyfriend? She has a long way to go to reach the top of the dungeon! Each novella-length book in the Fertile in My Ex-Boyfriend's Dungeon series includes three interactive monster encounters. Will Beatrix attack? Will she guard? Will she try to bargain with the monsters? Or will she just offer them her body without a fight?

You decide!

What did I like about this book?

Not a lot. My main gripe is that the writing itself is in serious need of a proof edit, at least. There are typos on every other page. I can almost forgive terrible writing if it’s terrible writing with great syntax and good grammar. Is that so much to ask for?

Like I mentioned, the cover hoodwinked me into thinking that the contents would be ok. But alas. I always say that you need to manage your expectations for these kinds of books (s m u t) but the bar isn’t that high for me, it’s almost on the floor.

I didn’t really like the protagonist, but that made it easier when it came to the “pick what happens next” elements to just go with the most outlandish of options. Because I didn’t care what happened to her. She’s one dimensional, and so is her ex-boyfriend.

The characters who were the most rounded were the two horny goblins at the end (your interaction with them differs depending on the path you choose).

There’s a lot of Mills&Boon-ian langauge. You know the vocabulary I mean: mounds, orbs, throbbing, wet folds. And I appreciate that there are only so many ways you can describe a breast but ‘orb’ is my least favourite.

I thought the pick-you-own-adventure element was really fun, and it’s set up like a dungeon RPG game, I guess, where you have to clear each level (and in this case, each book because there are like… 10 of these. Count ‘em). But I think that you can still achieve that level of spicy D&D adventure without leaning on sexism and misogyny and worn out stereotypes.

Be silly, but don't be cliche.

I hated the ex-boyfriend character, he was a walking red flag from the start, but at least he had some agency. Our leading lady? She was so passive it made my teeth ache from clenching my jaw so hard. Even just having her set out on her own hero’s journey, without the need for anyone else to save her, or swoop her off her feet, would have been a great improvement.

Should you read it?

Sure. It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. It is what it is, you know? But just lower the bar. In fact, I would just leave it where it lies on the floor, bury it in the sand, and this book will still trip over it. It is, however, a very quick read, and you’ll be able to boast that you suffered through it. For the lols.

Written by Sarah